Divorced parents: you may be the superhero for your kids. Here is the plot twist: becoming theirsuperhero means accepting that your child deserves to experience both a "Super" and "Super-Mom-Dad." Your marriage is ending, but your relationship as parents continues. Superhero status depends on whether you make their powers to communicate positively with children about their parentCouncil other. They need your permission and encouragement, manifested by all the words and actions of you, to enjoy your relationship with your ex-husband and feel supported to do so.
This may seem flat out terrible for you! The worse it sounds, the more you may need to hear it.Between the overwhelming challenge due to divorce, the first act of heroism is to start thinking ofeach other as fellow parents, and move out of the "ex-talk." your number one priority now is to makethe best choice for health-big and small-for your kids. Consider these four commitments you can doas a parent that will change the course of your child's life and in the process, can save too.
1. Start to access the super power of you-choose a healthy divorce.
The best decision to divorce spouses can do is choose divorce mediation, rather ugly Street battle incourt. Most of the legal battle could be harmful for your children. Litigation encourage spouses to become enemies. The increase in the intensity and duration of the conflict could harm the development of children and cause serious long-term problems. Consider doubling down on thenegative feelings about your spouse in a divorce battle can affect your children, who need both youas a source of love and stability in their lives, especially in a time of epic change.
In divorce mediation, you and your spouse together, with the help of a neutral mediator who qualify,will solve all the problems that a judge will decide: property and debt Division, support issues andparenting (in mediation is known as a "parenting plan"). By avoiding court and join the media respect,you will stay in control of your own future and reduce the stress level of your family. This is your firststep-and a necessary one – towards building a parenting contract in the future more peaceful and setthe stage to become the superhero for your kids.
2. Let's be honest-but told them what they need to know.
The experts agree that young parents need to communicate honestly and before that the separationis happening, the reasons behind it, and what the future might look like for the family. While specificapproaches vary depending on age, child psychology and reconciliation first detention, DonaldSaposnek, Ph.d., urged the parents to an honest, carefully framed "mutual story about the divorce."
First, parents should talk with their children about the divorce. Children need to hear "a mutual and consistent story" about why and how the divorce will happen, according to Saposnek. Telling your kids a "mutual" story, in which the mother is not "bad", the common responsibility for the divorce to be made and the personal details are spared, will help them to see divorce as a "family held back"rather than a "break-up." It will allow them to link to you both in the Organization of the family from the beginning.
For example, instead of parents told the children that the divorce is a result of his father's fraud andlack of care for the family, and my father told me that my mother wrote to him for many years, a"mutual story" will focus on how much Mom and Dad both love them. It will also demonstrate how they will always be safe and taken care of, and that even though this may be hard for all the people in a time, everything will be fine.
"My Mom and dad were trying hard so they can live happily together, but we have problems in adulthood that we can't fix, so we decided that we should not marry again. We will always love youand take good care of you and your parents. You need to know that our divorce is not your fault. Youdidn't do anything wrong. We are all very proud of you. Although his father and mother will live intwo different homes, you will see both of us and we will continue to cherish you, and take care of youand each person will have a special time with you. We all agree that it is important for us not to fightany more and we will be more than happy to live in separate places. "
The "tell them what they need to know" approach to apply after your divorce. The extra details likethe questions can
Post a Comment