Balls Out Ladies!
This article first appeared in The Paddock magazine Autumn 2013
I decided first I would look up to find where the expression “balls out” came from – it is used much in life and especially in motor sport and often “balls” – or the size of them - are used to express either commitment to a corner of outright speed over a lap or race distance – apparently. The most common answer seems to relate funnily enough to one of engineering - so not too far removed from F1. The most common answer is “balls out” is to do with a particular state of play of early steam engines whose governors were a pair of spinning balls, which described a larger and larger circle as the demand for speed increased. The more their rotational speed the more the ummm balls were “out” – so I like the link to speed (however it is used by race drivers!) and the parity with the specialist engineering of F1…
In past articles – being “the insurance bloke” I have sometimes referred to statistics and how over time the rate of F1 accidents has increased – suggesting a different mind-set to those drivers from the “crash‘n’burn” era of F1 - sometime before young Sebastian’s father had his...eyes twinkling (phew). Mercifully the rate of serious accidents has gone down correlating to a quantum leap forward in every aspect of F1 motorsport safety be it the car design, the circuits and the immediate medical attention along with a whole host of other attributes such as HANS etc.
Most people accept that no matter how safe you make the sport it is impossible to delete the word “danger” from motorsport – that is in fact why the drivers do it. It is just like any other adrenaline-fuelled sport where junkies throw themselves off bridges or from the occasional balloon floating in the stratosphere. It is the challenge, the “getting away with it”. It is all about how far the boundaries can be pushed. Sometimes they are pushed just a little too much – sometimes lady luck just happens to be having a day off. I think it is called “living life” is it not?
Outside of F1 motorsport is very different – slower for a start. I have raced over the years in many different cars – but prefer to race open top cars because they are just more exhilarating and one feels more “out there”. My balls are of a size that prevent me from taking the next step onto a bike to experience more of that freedom and believe me going flat through Abbey feels plenty quick enough for me, so I am only to be left wondering what it must feel like in an F1 car. Gulp!
There are circuits us club racers love to play on and Cadwell Park and Oulton are often cited as a drivers’ favourites – you know – the most dangerous ones – because they too create a feel of “getting away with it” at certain points. It is what drivers like to do – but in talking with a legal eagle recently who is very involved in club motorsport litigation I was actually quite shocked just how many accidents do happen over a year of motorsport. I confess to actually feeling a little sick as to the frequency of what would be termed “life changing” injuries – especially when it affects a whole family. I am a hypocrite when I say this but the distressing thing for me to hear was that so few competitors took insurance seriously and this seems blindingly irresponsible because even I have to confess I have not always been insured for serious injury myself! However, when the distressed family is left with no immediate income they turn to the law.
Alarmingly there has been an increase in litigation in the UK against the UK Motorsport Governing body who understandably are getting a bit miffed at being on the defensive from their own licence holders. What sticks out more is the fact that it seems to be the younger competitor who is more empowered by “rights” and willingness to blame others rather than take responsibility themselves for the fact they might get hurt. Not surprisingly motorsport is not just on the radar for Health and Safety – motorsport is very much in their sight as a troubled and dangerous workplace and personally I find this alarming. “Dear H&S, we love the danger – we just need to learn to take care of ourselves more and share responsibility. Thank you. Good bye” – if only it was that easy...
Some heart has to be taken from a recent court case where the judge, knowing precisely nothing about the sport was intrigued why the video of the circuit revealed a black line through the corners. It was explained that the rubber from the tires over time marks the circuit. Learning fast the judge asked if the “black line” could be described as being the “correct” line around the circuit. The barrister confirmed this would be a fair enough summary. Turning to the injured driver who had brought the action against the circuit and governing body the judge pointed out his observation “...but your weren’t even on the black line before you left the track...“ The case was kicked out.
Recently when I was racing at Brands hatch I had the word’s “I’m Insured – Are You?” emblazoned across the front of the car and with the support of a couple of delightful young ladies we undertook a simple survey of the competitors from the weekend. Competitors were asked six questions. The last two relating to price but questions 1 and 2 were whether a competitor was insured for the meeting and if they had always raced insured / uninsured. The young ladies, (Little Ale and Anca) set about their task in earnest and like race drivers they glimpsed into a world where the point of no return is not always appreciated until it has sailed right past...
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| Not Quite F1 - but believe in first hand experience |
The third question was whether, as a driver, it was “accepted” that motorsport is “dangerous”. The hapless first driver of the day to be surveyed looked around and explained he never really saw motorsport as being dangerous and could not see why they would possibly ask that. Something was gradually dawning on the ladies however – and with pen shaking and only able to fix her eyes on the clipboard – nothing else - the lady asking the final question went for it. Did the driver accept he could get “seriously injured” this weekend racing? Again the driver looked around and in a slightly bemused way explained it had never really occurred to him...
Hats off to the ladies for their own balls out “commitment” on this day. One also needs a grasp of English humour because the only driver of the weekend who was disabled, wheelchair bound because of a motor racing accident was the “first” target for our illustrious survey. He did see the funny side of this I can assure you.
The title of this article I confess to being inspired by a Top Gear article about a past F1 driver of some eighteen years ago – Taki Inoue who had a brief visit in F1 during the late 94 season and 95. As I said – F1 safety has moved on over the years but one has to wonder just what sort of cotton wool world the youngsters of today are growing into. This was how Taki explained his treatment following a slightly bizarre accident:
“My helmet was totally squashed. Then I see the doctor. Usual procedure - they try to see my **** first, touching my balls. It’s true! I learned that in the UK. When balls move, the brain is fine. When big crash, scissors, take off the overalls, see the balls, hit the balls, then when balls move, this guy’s fine. If balls don’t move, then there’s a problem with brain damage, I think.”
